There Are Only Consequences

My mum set me up for success.

I remember her teaching me how to pronounce vowels and syllables. She would painstakingly write each on a sheet of paper and then wait for me to echo what she had just said. She expected me to learn quickly, as it was only natural for her own flesh and blood to take after her.

And in case, you didn't learn the first time around, you would see your forearm lined with splotches of red. Of course, there were tears. But how could you expect a kid to reason when she couldn't even pronounce her words? Save your whining and your cries. Your skin would end up stinging worse in more places, right after.

Without knowing it, she taught me how to focus. There was no way else but through this. You had to learn. You could only take breaks, but even those were measured. And she would check what I was up to in the bathroom if I was taking too long. This routine led me to focus in class with ease, excelling in nearly every subject I can remember.

I had thought that how I prepared in school would be the same in life. After all, if you excelled and complied with the rules, then you would be successful. Academic success can be quantified by grades and standardized by age, sex, and so forth. 

But after graduating and living in the real world, nothing made sense to me. The rules didn't count.

Your grades weren't a predictor of your success. Your wealth didn't guarantee that you wouldn't have to mingle with those who aren't well-off. And just because you're kind, doesn't mean that other people will return the favor.

No. There were no rules. 

In life, there are only consequences.

While grades didn't predict who would be financially stable by the age of 30, those who routinely exhibited signs of conscientiousness and extraversion were most likely to have successful businesses. How come? They were organized. They knew just how to execute the plans they had drawn up, and delegate tasks to people with whom there was mutual trust and respect.

Sure, there's some degree of exclusivism amongst the elite. But lately, there has been a bridge between the rich and the masses through social media by public appeal. Ever wondered why comedians who have no brand or title to their name are more famous on Tiktok, and why they have more followers than your (in)famous celebrities?

Lastly, kindness doesn't guarantee that people will reciprocate in turn. But remember that we have often lashed out under the sting of wounds that are invisible to the eye. And we have trudged under the heavy burdens of life that other people have not experienced. 

We may be met by hostility and rudeness. But by offering someone balm to soothe their wounds, we are attracting to ourselves the quality of people most similar to us. Life will always find a way to draw the hurt and the proud away from us.

Choosing to remain kind means that we refuse to withdraw from the sting of wounds inflicted to us by those who are hurt. And that we refuse to take up the burden of people who are disillusioned and broken from carrying them.

By refusing to take on the pain, we choose to break the cycle.

In life, there are no rules. But there are always consequences to the action, or inaction, that we take.