Why People Aren't Won Over by Facts

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This is what smart people get wrong - you will never win people over by using facts, unless they value the truth over their emotions.

People are people. We are governed by emotions. And despite our claims of "Oh, I'm a logical person", science calls bull on the matter. 

We will always be emotional. That is just how our brain is wired.

Emotions arise from different parts of the brain. One such part is responsible for storing packets(or data blocks) of experiences. The other slaps a label as to how we interpret those packets of experiences. So, if someone attacks this packet of experience you consider the truth, guess what the brain will do. And guess how you would feel?

It will interpret the situation as an attack, based on the experiences you have had in the past. And you will naturally feel withdrawn or be dismissive towards whomever you're speaking to. You may even be argumentative.

So what should we do to keep that from happening?

Win someone over by first establishing rapport. 

How do we do that?

Show people what you have in common. 

And, then listen. 

You are, in effect, making people feel safe. And you will know how well you understand a person by the response you give from what you heard.

If they feel heard, then they might take that packet of experience (which would have otherwise been an argument) and interpret it as a discussion. And if you're lucky enough to witness it, they might change their beliefs...


and choose to vote for the opposing political party. Kidding.

and act irrationally. *wink, wink



P.S. 

Even people who choose to value the truth over their loyalty are driven by emotions. Don't kid yourself.


Now, you might not believe me when I say science has proven everyone is driven by emotions. 

Why? 

Because you don't trust me, despite having given the facts...which proves the point. I can't really go on a full-length discussion of anatomy and physiology because that might bore you or worse, confuse you.

To understand more about the brain, what emotions really are, if they're any different from judgments, and what kind of people judge, try reading

1. Daniel Kahneman's Thinking, Fast and Slow

2. Amy Herman's Visual Intelligence

3. Lisa Barrett's How Emotions Are Made

or try watching

1. The Science of Emotions & Relationships | Huberman Lab Podcast #13 - YouTube 7:52

2. You aren't at the mercy of your emotions -- your brain creates them | Lisa Feldman Barrett - YouTube 3:00 and 11:17 but it's so much better to watch the whole thing!

You could ask any neurobiologist or healthcare provider (if they remember their basics XD) what emotions really are and how the brain makes snap judgments. But I wouldn't worry if they said otherwise, this evidence-based research has only surfaced recently.


What's my credibility?

Cum Laude, RN. Results Released June, 2015, Sequence No. 3265

JD, Lawyer. Results Released April, 2022 Sequence No. 2832


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